Chapter 1: My Upcoming Graduation Celebration

As I (17f) prepare for my graduation party later this year, I find myself in a challenging situation with my sister, who has severe autism (23f). Over time, my feelings toward her have soured significantly. Her frequent outbursts have led to the destruction of my belongings, from toys to electronics, and even impacted my social life. My parents often excuse her behavior, insisting that I don't need to help or be compensated for my troubles.

I've been left to care for her without adequate guidance, and any expression of my frustration seems to result in punishment. It's been incredibly difficult. In fact, my relationships have suffered because my sister and my parents tend to drive away anyone I try to date.

Despite these challenges, my parents currently compensate me $9 an hour to look after her, often leaving me alone with her for extended periods. I've learned to manage this responsibility and have even secured a job at a nearby steakhouse, eager to embrace typical teenage experiences. With my 18th birthday approaching, I am focused on minimizing the time I spend essentially parenting my adult sister.

As I shared my plans for the graduation party, my mother insisted I invite my sister, citing a scheduled date for themselves that night. This would mean missing my graduation and party, as I would need to stay home to supervise her. I explained to my mom that my friend’s home has many fragile items, and the potential for damage was too great. My mother dismissed my concerns, saying that if anything were broken, I could cover the costs.

In a candid conversation, I laid out my intentions regarding my new job and my plans to move out. I firmly stated that my sister should not be my burden. My mom reacted strongly, stating that my family relies on me to care for her so they can retire early and enjoy life. I was taken aback by this expectation and responded, “She is your daughter, not mine. I am turning 18 soon, and I won’t be held accountable for her anymore. I refuse to let her dictate my life and future.”

My words left my mom in tears, and now I face the consequences of being grounded. Nonetheless, I plan to spend the weekend at my friend's apartment, allowing my parents to handle the situation. My dad has criticized my honesty, and while my friends agree with my point, they suggest I was too harsh. After hearing that my mother told my sister what I said, I witnessed her meltdown, leaving me feeling guilty. Am I in the wrong for standing my ground?

Top Comment

NTA. Ensure you have your important documents ready. Don't underestimate what your parents might do to impede your independence.

Chapter 2: Understanding the Impact of Responsibilities

In the video titled "Parents Left My Autistic Sister Alone For Quick Vacation While I Was Away In School Trip Miles Away," the creator shares a personal story that echoes my own experiences. It highlights the difficulties faced by siblings of individuals with autism, particularly when parents make choices that impact family dynamics. This video serves as a poignant reminder of the complexities involved in balancing personal desires with familial obligations.