Chapter 1: The Question That Demands an Answer

There are times when certain inquiries are overlooked or deemed unnecessary to respond to. However, today, I feel compelled to address a question that has been posed to me numerous times.

Photo by Molly Simone on Unsplash

What is this question, you may ask? “How do you manage it all?” Initially, I found it difficult to formulate a response, but after considerable reflection, I believe I have an answer. The reason behind this question likely stems from my experiences over the past seven years as the primary caregiver for my son, who sustained a traumatic brain injury on Memorial Day in 2015. While many were celebrating this holiday, my family received distressing news that transformed our lives. We were away on vacation when we were inundated with frantic messages from the hospital about my son fighting for his life, accompanied by calls from the police and a friend who witnessed the unfortunate event. Since that day, Memorial Day has taken on a different significance for us.

Fast forward four years, and just as I was beginning to process this trauma, my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, a relentless and debilitating illness. It felt like a cruel twist of fate, as if I had been tossed around and then let down hard. This marked the breaking point for me. I was devastated and on the brink of collapse. The thought of rising from that fall felt overwhelming. Yet, I found myself needing to stand strong, not only for my son but also for my husband.

With this new reality came the heavy burden of managing my husband’s business until a decision was made about its future, alongside navigating the endless legal and financial intricacies that had become my new normal. I quickly learned that engaging in any business matters requiring my husband’s input necessitated a power of attorney. My days morphed into a complex juggling act, balancing responsibilities at home, managing the office, and handling daily chores like grocery shopping, cooking, and laundry. It was exhausting, and I began to operate on autopilot. There was no planning for the future; I simply moved from morning until night, collapsing into bed from sheer exhaustion.

Initially, the first year following my husband’s diagnosis wasn’t too challenging, but as time went on, his condition worsened. He began to wake multiple times at night, confused about basic needs, which meant I had to assist him constantly. I felt as though I was parenting two children. Although my son became more self-sufficient over the years, he still needed help with many daily tasks. To manage my husband’s care during the day while I continued to run the business, I hired additional help. Unfortunately, I discovered that Medicare wouldn’t cover the necessary care unless my husband was bedridden, adding another layer of financial strain. Yet, I knew this assistance was essential for my well-being.

In my younger years, managing three children filled me with energy, albeit exhausting. Now, in my sixties, my reserves felt depleted after a day of handling responsibilities at home and caring for my loved ones. I recognized that neglecting my own health would render me ineffective. I had to prioritize self-care, as two people I cherished relied on me. Gradually, I reduced my social interactions, and calls with friends became infrequent. Leisure shopping was a luxury I could no longer afford. My circle shrank to a few close friends who understood my struggles, and I attempted to take my husband out once a month, a taxing endeavor, but one that brought him joy and allowed me to reconnect with people who cared about me. This is now impossible; his needs demand constant attention.

So, how do I cope? I came to understand that this is a long-term commitment, requiring me to bring structure to my life for both their sakes and mine. I established a "Me Care" schedule alongside my caregiving duties, increasing the frequency of outside help at my daughters' urging, who observed my mechanical existence. The business has finally concluded, freeing me to pursue activities I had neglected for years due to time constraints and guilt, believing my attention belonged solely to my husband and son. I began writing, which has allowed me to express emotions I had kept bottled up; it has been incredibly liberating. I now meet with fellow writers weekly for a couple of hours—my happiest moments. Additionally, I’ve joined a small walking group that meets weekly, surrounded by kindred spirits amidst nature’s beauty. Each encounter teaches me that I am not alone in facing my challenges.

I also make it a point to dress up and enjoy occasional meals out, reconnecting with the vibrant world around me. I have started to dance, smile, and relish music that I love, and as a result, I find myself less fatigued, less irritable, and more engaged with life. With my birthday approaching in February, I realize how quickly time passes; I am nearing the end of my sixties. The importance of living in the moment has become clear. I won’t wait for tomorrow to pursue what I love; I will do it today.

There are three key aspects that have been vital to my survival amid the trauma and challenges I face, forming the foundation of my strength, courage, and resilience. The first is Hope. I have never lost hope, and this faith keeps me optimistic for a brighter future. The second is Faith. Without belief, hope cannot flourish; I must trust that the challenges I encounter serve a purpose and that I will emerge victorious. The third is Gratitude. Regardless of circumstances, remaining grateful is crucial since things could always be worse.

My mother used to say, “When you feel trapped, challenged, or deprived, don’t look up at those who have more, but rather down at those who have less.” I have ceased questioning why I am facing these difficulties and stopped longing for what is currently unattainable. Instead, I find joy and tranquility in the simple pleasures of life, discovering treasures within the ordinary.

“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” —Nelson Mandela

Chapter 2: Understanding 'Begging the Question'

In this insightful video, we explore the concept of "begging the question," a common logical fallacy that often leads to confusion in argumentation. The video explains how this fallacy occurs when an argument's premises assume the truth of the conclusion instead of supporting it.

This video delves deeper into the phrase "begging the question," providing clarity on its meaning and implications. It offers examples that illustrate how this fallacy manifests in everyday discussions and highlights the importance of recognizing it to enhance critical thinking skills.