Finding Safety to Embrace Your Authentic Self
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Chapter 1: The Importance of Feeling Safe
Recently, I came across a brief yet impactful video by a creator known as "Your Korean Dad." In just ten seconds, he articulated a profound truth: "Before you're able to be your best self, you have to feel safe to be yourself."
You can check out the video below for a deeper understanding of this concept.
This statement struck me powerfully, prompting me to reflect on my own journey. For years, I have been striving to become the best version of myself, learning to embrace my preferences, interests, and the company I keep. However, I didn't fully grasp how crucial it was to feel secure in my identity before I could genuinely pursue personal growth.
Looking back, especially before 2017, I realized that I lacked a sense of safety in expressing who I truly am. The primary source of this discomfort stemmed from familial expectations.
Section 1.1: Family Dynamics and Their Impact
My father exhibited a controlling nature, often needing to feel significant and in command. This dynamic created a restrictive environment where I often felt overshadowed by his strong presence. While his need for order was beneficial during my teenage years, particularly as I dealt with bipolar disorder, it became suffocating once I sought independence.
Dad, despite his flaws and occasional bullying tendencies, had good intentions. He held specific beliefs about how life should unfold, and though he didn’t enforce strict rules, his "suggestions" shaped my life choices significantly. His subtle disapproval influenced my music tastes and fashion choices, leading me to suppress aspects of my identity to gain his approval.
Section 1.2: The Consequences of Suppression
For a decade, I endured this pressure, leading to a fallout in 2017 over unresolved grievances. This separation brought feelings of grief and loss, especially after my father's dismissive closing in his last email to me: "Have a good life." However, as I began to heal, I discovered a newfound freedom to express my true self.
With this safety, I have been able to work towards becoming my best self. The struggle of wearing a mask daily can be exhausting; we all have responsibilities that require us to conceal our true selves. Yet, everyone deserves spaces where they can authentically express who they are.
Chapter 2: The Path to Self-Actualization
When we cannot be ourselves, it hampers our ability to improve and grow. The foundation of personal development rests on feeling safe—physically, mentally, and emotionally. Unfortunately, many people do not connect this need for safety with the journey of self-actualization.
We often hear motivational messages encouraging us to be our true selves, yet many cannot do this due to fear of judgment or rejection. Achieving your best self is nearly impossible if you cannot first embrace your authentic identity.
To those struggling to find their safe space, I encourage you to seek environments and relationships that support your true self. Finding a community where you feel accepted can significantly enhance your mental well-being.
Lastly, it’s essential to remember that while we may have obligations that necessitate a façade, we should strive to create moments where we can drop our masks—especially at home or with friends. Without this ability to express our true selves, reaching our fullest potential becomes a daunting challenge.
I sincerely hope you find the safety to be your authentic self. May you feel empowered to pursue your best version every day. If you’re not there yet, I hope you arrive at that place soon.
Take care of yourself, and keep striving for your best self.
Be well out there.
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