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Embracing Change: Why Life Goals Might Not Be What You Need

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Chapter 1: The Illusion of Goals

Scott Adams, creator of the comic strip Dilbert, provocatively stated, “Goals are for losers” in his book, How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big.

Throughout my life, I’ve chased a variety of ambitions—rescuing lives, becoming a chess champion, running marathons, publishing books, and even founding a billion-dollar company. In fact, at the age of 13, I even made and laminated a bucket list.

You might expect that achieving these goals would bring immense joy, but often the reality is quite different.

For instance, I aspired to lead a team at work. I searched bookstores for management literature and worked late into the night. Upon reaching this goal, however, I found my life felt emptier, lacking the excitement I had anticipated.

Scott Adams captures this sentiment perfectly: achieving a goal can bring temporary elation, but it can also leave you feeling lost without the motivation that the goal once provided.

The first video, "If You Are Not Setting Goals For Yourself, You Are Living Your Life On Repeat," discusses the potential pitfalls of setting rigid goals and how they may not lead to genuine happiness.

We often misjudge what will truly fulfill us. Daniel Gilbert, in Stumbling on Happiness, notes that we are notoriously poor at predicting what will make us happy. Reflecting on our past desires can often lead us to question our earlier decisions.

Chapter 2: The Nature of Desire

Many of our aspirations align with the concept of mimetic desire, as theorized by René Girard. We often think we want what others desire, only to later question our motivations.

Moreover, both ourselves and our environments are in a constant state of flux.

Ancient Chinese philosophers imparted wisdom that remains relevant today. In their book, The Path, Michael Puett and Christine Gross-Loh illustrate that by setting rigid plans, we confine ourselves to an abstract vision of who we think we are, ignoring the inevitable changes that lie ahead.

Plans should evolve as we do, which means long-term aspirations can be limiting. During my MBA at Stanford, I realized my interests extended beyond product management in tech. I began to explore journalism and political advisory roles, striving to maintain an open mindset rather than confining myself to specific career goals.

The second video, "What To Do If I Don't Have Any Goals?" by Mel Robbins, offers insights on navigating life without fixed goals and embracing flexibility.

Chapter 3: Adopting a Systematic Approach

Scott Adams advocates for a systems-based approach to life. He suggests that a system involves daily actions that enhance long-term happiness, contrasting this with the often unfulfilled nature of waiting for a future goal to be achieved.

According to Puett and Gross-Loh, the Chinese philosopher Mencius emphasizes creating conditions for personal growth. This involves engaging in activities that resonate with various aspects of ourselves, such as wine tasting, painting, or practicing a new language.

We should approach our growth like a farmer: selecting the right environment, nurturing our interests, and remaining responsive to changes.

Going forward, I am steering clear of fixed goals like “become a journalist” or “become a political advisor.” Instead, I focus on systems that allow my interests to develop organically.

I write regularly, often submitting articles on technology and society to Norwegian publications. I also engage with individuals involved in climate initiatives, venture capital, or startups.

Following the guidance of Puett and Gross-Loh, my mindset is shifting. Rather than believing I can be anything I want, I am embracing the uncertainty of discovering who I can become.

Consider exploring Mental Models for Career Decisions for Happier, Fulfilled Lives for further insights.

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