Being a Hero in Someone Else’s Life

When your kids were little, you probably felt like their hero. Loving parents often embody this role, but it changes as children grow into teenagers or pre-teens. Do you really think teenagers see you as anything more than a provider of food, rides, and cash? It's challenging to relinquish the notion that you still play the hero in their life stories.

This doesn’t mean you should charge in, sword drawn, but let’s be honest; how often do you find yourself overly involved in their lives? Engaging in their social circles is nearly impossible, akin to a top-secret mission. What about their academic performance?

In one seminar, a woman expressed her frustration about her daughter's reluctance to study for tests. She shared how she had been an excellent student but could not motivate her daughter. The seminar leader replied, “What does that have to do with you?”

The woman insisted that her daughter's academic failures would reflect poorly on her as a mother. She clung to her perception of being a hero. Yet, a parent’s role isn't to enforce study habits but to create a nurturing environment conducive to learning. The child's academic journey is ultimately theirs.

You cannot be the hero in your partner's story either. You might wish for a more ambitious or organized partner, but they are who they are. Trying to change your partner is akin to attempting to turn a cat into a dog; if you want a dog, you need to get one.

This video, HOW THE INFJ ACCEPTS BEING THE VILLAIN IN SOMEONE ELSE'S STORY, explores the complexities of personal narratives and the acceptance of one's role within them.

Stepping In When Uninvited

Another way people assume the role of hero in others' stories is by offering unsolicited advice. If someone shares a problem, resist the urge to don your cape and provide solutions unless they request it. This is not your narrative to resolve.

Do you believe that tasks will go undone unless you intervene or push someone to act? I once had a friend who would start new jobs by overperforming, earning accolades from her colleagues. However, this led her to assume a heroic role, prompting her to advise others on how to perform their tasks. She remained oblivious to the fact that her "heroic" actions ultimately led to her dismissal.

You might think your presence is crucial in others' lives, but this is often an illusion. Your hero cape is made from synthetic fibers and lacks any real magic. You are not obligated to save others from their missteps unless they seek your help.

Who’s the Main Character?

It's essential to remember who the main character is in any story: it’s always the individual whose story it is. You will always be the protagonist of your narrative, and that’s something to celebrate.

Being your own hero doesn’t necessitate taking on the world’s challenges or possessing superhuman abilities. It simply means striving to be the best version of yourself. Even on your worst days, that’s the best you have to offer.

As the hero of your life, you can assist others if they ask for your support. You can guide your children and gently encourage your partner when needed, all because you embody the essence of a hero. With your keen intuition, you can identify where your help is needed, whether it’s rescuing a spider from the bathroom or saving a mouse from your cat.

Stand tall, knowing that you are indeed the hero of your own story.