Understanding the Importance of Name Choice

The choice of a name for a Vice Presidential candidate is crucial, much like the titles of blockbuster films.

A friend of mine, Molly, has a method she employs to assess names and titles before incorporating them into her public writings. She vocalizes them as if ordering at a movie theater:

“Two tickets for _______, please.”

If the person selling tickets can easily grasp the name and respond correctly on the first attempt, it passes her test.

“Two tickets for Titanic.” Perfect!

“Two tickets for Star Wars.” Absolutely!

However, if it appears the seller might respond with a confused, “Could you repeat that?” then the name fails the test.

“Two tickets for Ishtar.” What’s that?

“Two tickets for Mars Needs Moms.” Huh?

The successful titles mentioned earlier rank among the highest-grossing films, while the latter examples are infamous for their financial losses. Various factors contributed to the failure of those films, but I’d argue that a challenging name was a significant drawback. If a name is hard to pronounce, it lacks the ability to be easily shared.

This principle applies to individuals as well as film titles. Consider the last ten candidates who won presidential elections in the United States. Say their names out loud and notice how straightforward they are:

• Joe Biden
• Donald Trump
• Barack Obama
• George Bush
• Bill Clinton
• George Bush
• Ronald Reagan
• Jimmy Carter
• Richard Nixon
• Lyndon Johnson

With the exception of “Reagan,” each name features distinct consonants and clear vowels. If you were to mention any of these names to a ticket seller, they would not respond with confusion.

This clarity is partly because the majority of these winners (four out of ten) exhibit what’s referred to as “trochaic dimeter” in poetic meter.

• Joe Biden
• Ronald Reagan
• Jimmy Carter
• Richard Nixon

Trochaic dimeter is characterized by a rhythmic “falling pattern” consisting of two trochaic “feet” per line. A “trochee” is a metrical foot comprising a stressed syllable followed by an unstressed one. Thus, in the context of trochaic dimeter, each line comprises a total of four syllables, following the pattern: DUM-da DUM-da.

Now, let’s examine the potential candidates Harris is considering for the vice presidency:

• Josh Shapiro: trochaic dimeter
• Mark Kelly: trochaic dimeter
• Tim Walz: trochaic monometer
• Andy Beshear: trochaic dimeter
• J.B. Pritzker: trochaic dimeter
• Pete Buttigieg: dactylic dimeter

Four out of the six candidates conform to the successful trochaic dimeter pattern, which leads to the elimination of Pete Buttigieg and Tim Walz. I contend that Buttigieg and Walz should be disregarded due to the ambiguity in their consonants. For instance, potential listeners may struggle with the pronunciation of “Buttigieg” and may also question whether it’s pronounced “WalTZ” or “WalZZ.” Additionally, some might mispronounce Beshear as “Besh EE ar,” complicating communication.

This leaves us with Josh Shapiro, Mark Kelly, and J.B. Pritzker.

It’s essential to consider how the ticket name sounds:

• “Harris-Kelly” and “Harris-Pritzker” fit perfectly within the trochaic dimeter.
• “Harris-Beshear” creates an irregular pattern of a trochee followed by an iamb, eliminating Andy from contention.
• “Harris-Shapiro” does not fit neatly into a standard metrical structure; instead, it presents a mixed meter with five syllables, beginning with a trochee and followed by two iambs, making it overly complex to communicate. Furthermore, Shapiro has a variant pronunciation that could cause confusion, as demonstrated by the character in the TV show Girls, who pronounces it “Sha-PIE-ro” rather than the more common “Sha-PEER-ro.”

Thus, we must also say goodbye to Josh.

This ultimately leaves J.B. Pritzker and Mark Kelly. To me, there’s an evident frontrunner. J.B. seems elusive, mysterious. Who exactly is J.B.? This curiosity is accentuated by the tongue-in-cheek mispronunciation of J.D. Vance’s initials in a parody of Trump’s lament about his own VP choice. Moreover, the “tzk” consonant cluster may confuse both the eye and the tongue.

After thorough consideration of the meter, vowels, and consonants, we arrive at a conclusion.

Say it aloud to your local ticket sellers, and they will repeat it correctly.

Mark Kelly.

Except, in the end, it’s Tim Walz.

Let’s work on the pronunciation together.

Chapter 2: The Candidates

In this video, we explore the anticipation surrounding Kamala Harris's impending vice presidential pick, highlighting the significance of this selection process.

Here, Kamala Harris reveals Tim Walz as her choice for vice president, further illustrating the intricacies involved in the naming process.