Chapter 1: The Quirky Martian Mission

In a rather rundown studio apartment located in a less-than-desirable part of Los Angeles, a unique team dons space suits to replicate Martian living conditions.

When I mention a "team," I mean just myself and my tiny poodle, Mac, who is decidedly unhappy in his makeshift space attire. By "space suit," I refer to a shirt with "I Give Free Kisses" emblazoned on it. Mac, who prefers the freedom of fur over fabric, will likely wriggle out of it before long. As for my own attire, it consists of pajamas featuring "Go Bears," which I picked up during a trip up north.

These two "analog astronauts" — Mac and I — are attempting to experience the profound isolation that future Martian settlers might encounter.

“It’s a dream come true,” Mac, now 13, supposedly expressed to The Haven news, though his sentiments were translated rather simplistically in the reporter's notes as “Woof, woof, woof, woof.” Ah, modern journalism.

To even participate, we had to endure a series of challenging physical and psychological evaluations. Throughout our mission, Mac and I will be conducting experiments and exploring the impact of isolation on human behavior.

“The ability for the group to bond and collaborate is vital for survival on Mars,” stated Mr. Hornblower, the mission supervisor, who also happens to live down the hall. Our interactions have been limited to mere pleasantries, like, “Hi, how are you? Bye.”

Mr. Hornblower isn’t exactly hands-on with the mission, but I’m keen on keeping his spirits up, so I let him continue chatting with the Haven reporter.

“My dad took me to a space museum when I was young,” he reminisced. “When I learned my neighbor was transforming his apartment into a Martian base, I thought this was my moment. So, I applied to be mission supervisor.”

It’s safe to say that the pandemic has taken a toll on us all. We’ve long felt the weight of solitude, and the pandemic simply amplified that reality.

My downstairs neighbor, Kit Kittrich, someone I’ve never exchanged a word with, is also part of this mission.

“What we’re doing here prepares us for one of the greatest journeys humanity will undertake,” she interjected during Mr. Hornblower’s interview. “Did you know Mars and Earth can be 380 million kilometers apart at their furthest?”

“Of course I knew that,” Mr. Hornblower replied, irritation evident. “What are you doing in my apartment? Leave!”

Meanwhile, Mac and I are embracing our simulated Martian experience. We’ve visually crafted the barren landscape of Mars using a red light bulb and some rocks I stealthily borrowed from the apartment landscaping. To mimic the thin atmosphere of the red planet, we only take breaths occasionally, mostly opting to hold our breath while clenching our teeth.

We do have sporadic contact with mission control — or, rather, I can hear Mr. Hornblower passing by my door and catch glimpses of Ms. Kittrich entering her Toyota Fit.

It may seem that this level of solitude is unbearable and cruel, but surprisingly, we’re quite resilient. We can thrive in our own little worlds without any meaningful interaction for months, or even years.

In fact, I believe we will adapt remarkably well to the real Martian base when we finally arrive there in a few years.

We, the pioneering settlers, are ready.

Let the adventure commence!!!

Chapter 2: Experiments in Isolation

The first video explores how astronauts simulate life on Mars, showcasing the challenges and experiences they face in a controlled environment.

The second video delves into the Mars Colony Simulator game, allowing players to experience the challenges of surviving on the red planet.