Reflections on Turning Thirty: A Parent's Perspective
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Chapter 1: Celebrating a Milestone
This week marks an important occasion as my eldest daughter turns thirty, a milestone not only for her but also for us as her parents.
As we navigate these significant birthdays, we often attach greater meaning to them, seeing them as transitions into new phases of life. While we might rationally acknowledge that reaching a new decade isn’t inherently more important than other birthdays, it undeniably feels like a definitive leap into adulthood. If eighteen is the age of becoming an adult, then thirty certainly solidifies that status—almost halfway through what many consider a full life.
I vividly recall the day she was born, the joy of bringing her home from the hospital three decades ago. It was a time filled with boundless happiness, yet it was also tinged with the immense responsibility that comes with parenthood. After all the meticulous care provided by the hospital, the responsibility for her well-being was now entirely ours, with the daunting realization that life could present any number of challenges.
I remember the overwhelming feeling of her being too precious to enter a world filled with flaws. Presenting my parents with their first grandchild was an incredible joy, a way to give back after all they had done for me.
Time has flown by since those early days. From starting nursery to her first day of school, music lessons, drama performances, and the tumultuous teenage years—each stage brings its own memories. We faced difficult times, including a painful period of hospitalization due to an eating disorder, which remains hard to reflect upon. Eventually, she made it to university, took a break, and triumphantly returned to finish her degree. She has now embarked on a thriving career, surpassing what her father ever earned!
Letting go has its challenges. My daughter moved to the North a couple of years ago, and the distance can feel overwhelming, although we enjoy visiting the beautiful region she now calls home.
While the joys of parenthood are immense, the feeling of an "empty nest" is very real, leaving a hollow ache reminiscent of loss. When children are young, time seems to stretch infinitely, as if they will always remain little. Those cherished toddler years, when they idolize their parents, soon shift to the teenage phase where they find their parents laughably embarrassing. Eventually, we may reach a time where the roles reverse, and our children care for us, but that’s a thought for another day!
The first video, "30: A Journey Through Life," captures the essence of reaching this pivotal age, shedding light on the experiences and reflections that come with it.
Chapter 2: The Changing Landscape
The world has transformed significantly over the past thirty years. The climate crisis, which could have been addressed in the 1990s, has escalated due to negligence, ignorance, and complacency, threatening not only humanity but all forms of life. Additionally, we have witnessed the heartbreaking decline of biodiversity, an integral part of our shared legacy.
A few years back, my daughter came out as gay, which presented challenges for all of us. My initial, selfish reaction was to mourn the imagined loss of future grandchildren, influenced by the deep-seated homophobia of my youth. My own school experience was tainted with relentless bullying directed at those who were perceived as different. Thankfully, society has progressed since those dark days, but unlearning those ingrained attitudes has been a journey. I have learned to embrace Pride with open arms.
After some adjustment, we joyfully celebrated when she got engaged last Christmas. Her partner is a wonderful match, and they complement each other beautifully in both personality and skills.
Next year, I will stand by her side as she marries her partner, proud of the woman she has become. Life continues to unfold, and while thirty may not be fundamentally different from twenty-nine or thirty-one, it feels like a significant milestone that we celebrated together last weekend.
The second video, "Turning Thirty: Embracing Change," reflects on the transitions and celebrations that accompany this milestone, encapsulating the essence of growth and acceptance.
Thank you for reading this heartfelt reflection on the journey of parenthood.
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