A Journey to Better Well-Being: Why I'm Leaving Social Media
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Chapter 1: The Beginning of My Social Media Journey
My introduction to social media started at the young age of 14, when my best friend and I created Myspace accounts in my parents' basement. I quickly learned the unwritten rules, such as prioritizing my "top friends"—starting with my boyfriend followed by my best girlfriend.
Now, at 28, I'm in the process of reassessing my online presence. Recently, I removed over 2,000 Facebook friends and unfollowed everyone on Instagram. This experiment aims to reveal who I genuinely miss after undergoing significant life changes, including recognizing narcissistic dynamics in my family and experiencing burnout in my tech career.
Initially, I used these platforms to keep in touch with friends from high school through to my post-college life, sharing photos, status updates, and invitations to events. However, as our lives evolved, social media began to feel less like a space for connection and more like a breeding ground for comparison.
During the last couple of years, my focus on these platforms shifted towards sharing creative endeavors like articles and hobbies. Yet, I still felt an underlying pressure to adhere to social expectations, such as sharing aesthetically pleasing images and crafting perfect captions.
I liken social media to mind-altering substances; one must be cautious of their potential negative effects and set boundaries to safeguard mental health. For me, these apps tend to amplify existing anxieties, foster social comparison, and leave me feeling inadequate.
Perhaps the most effective way to enhance the quality of my genuine relationships—especially with myself—is to eliminate my social media presence altogether.
"Quitting Social Media in 2024 (Social Media Detox)" discusses the necessity of stepping back from digital platforms to reclaim personal well-being and authentic interactions.
Section 1.1: Understanding Social Media's Negative Impact
As I prepared to write this reflection, I delved into research highlighting the detrimental effects of social media. My personal experiences echo many findings:
- Increased Anxiety: Even before I engaged with social media, I struggled with anxiety. These platforms, however, exacerbate my worries about likes and maintaining an ideal online persona.
- Social Comparison: When your online worth is distilled into a single number, it's hard not to compare yourself with others. Despite my awareness, I can't help but notice when others appear more attractive or present more engaging content.
- Feeling Like a Performer: Despite striving for authenticity, I often find myself curating an online image, obsessing over how I appear in photos.
- Self-Consciousness: In American culture, women are subjected to an uninvited beauty competition. Social media amplifies this pressure, leaving many feeling inadequate.
- Increased Depression: While depression is multifaceted, I can confirm feeling drained and less motivated when frequently using these platforms. Rather than alleviating boredom, social media often contributes to it.
Last winter, I embarked on a three-month hiatus from social media, recognizing the need for self-care during the holiday season. I felt more relaxed and engaged with life, free from the incessant need to document every moment online.
Upon my return, I focused on sharing content that solves problems rather than merely showcasing my life. I attempted to be mindful, limiting my app usage and curating my feeds. However, I'm beginning to feel that the effort may not be worth it.
Section 1.2: Anticipating the Benefits of Quitting
The quality of my relationships weighs heavily on my mind. Numerous creators and researchers discuss how digital interactions can diminish the depth of our connections. How meaningful is it to click a "like" button? What does it truly mean to be "friends" on Facebook?
Two years ago, I faced the harsh realization of narcissism within my family. At that time, I had just departed from my "dream job" at Facebook, and the uncertainty was unsettling. The comfort of having over 2,000 online "friends" was fleeting; the superficial interactions only served as distractions.
By deleting my social accounts, I hope to achieve the following:
- Higher-Quality Relationships: As I let go of social comparison, I anticipate deeper and more meaningful connections.
- More Authentic Experiences: By not feeling compelled to document every adventure, I believe I will immerse myself more fully in my surroundings.
- Enhanced Creative Energy: Taking breaks from social media has already sparked greater curiosity within me. I expect that clearing away the noise will allow me to better hear my inner voice.
- Boosted Self-Esteem: The unsettling nature of having thousands of people access my personal life is daunting. While I embrace vulnerability in my writing, it feels different when I share in a more intimate context.
- Increased Groundedness: After navigating the disorientation caused by familial narcissism, I prioritize inner peace. I've noticed that using social media—even for creative pursuits—can amplify my ego. One moment, I feel like a successful writer; the next, I’m engulfed in self-doubt.
In the grand scheme, social media is just one element of a broader array of distractions. Advertisements, television, and consumer culture also contribute to my well-being struggles. I don't expect that deleting my accounts will resolve all my issues, but it feels like a significant act of self-care.
If you still find yourself using social media, I urge you to reflect on your habits. What serves you well? What feels counterproductive? Can you relate to any aspects of my experience? I'm eager to hear what resonates with you.
I anticipate missing Facebook Marketplace, community groups, and the ability to connect with old friends. However, alternatives exist for selling items, finding roommates, and maintaining connections—whether through word-of-mouth, local trade stores, texting, or platforms like Medium.
Looking ahead, I plan to preserve cherished memories and photos, share my contact information as necessary, and then step away from the digital world. In just a week or so, I expect to feel a profound sense of happiness for making these courageous choices.
While I appreciate the meaningful conversations and awareness I've shared online, I won't miss the hollow comfort of having thousands of "friends." Instead, I look forward to embracing stillness, openness, and truth in my daily life.
Photo courtesy of the author.
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