Chapter 1: A Curious Encounter

There’s an air of oddity surrounding Tim that many can relate to.

Tim held a smoldering cigarette awkwardly between his parched, discolored lips, dragging it down beyond the filter, ash still clinging on. Smoke swirled down his throat like eager teens diving into a pool, causing him to cough violently. Yet, that brief rush of nicotine soothed the storm in his mind as he stumbled down the street, swaying unsteadily due to the heavy calfskin bag slung over his shoulder. Stuffed to the brim, it contained remnants of years spent at his desk—all those years, now reduced to nothing but smoke and lost opportunities.

Tim Graham was in his forties, his wild, ginger hair framing his head while the top remained scarce. His fingers constantly raked through the high, orange-and-white tufts that resembled a shaggy carpet. Rubbing his eyes until they turned pink, his eyelids twitched erratically, revealing bright green irises—like springtime, yet harboring winter’s chill. A small scar crossed his forehead, and his freckled nose was marked with deep acne scars.

With a stout physique reminiscent of a medieval monk—think Friar Tuck—Tim bore the visible consequences of too many visits to the nearby pastry shop. Upon reaching his destination, he was panting heavily, drenched in sweat, as if March had morphed into July.

His eyes scanned the other passengers, a disdainful scoff escaping his lips.

“Can no one else see this?” he thought, observing wrappers dancing on the wind like a chaotic ecosystem spilling onto the pavement, mingled with dark stains that reeked of stale vomit.

At that moment, a red number thirty-five double-decker bus rumbled around the corner just as he pinched the end of another cigarette. The bus halted with a creak before him. Instead of stepping onto the bus, Tim groaned, letting the thin tobacco stick fall back into its gold, laminated case. He glanced at his remaining smokes—thirteen left—not terrible under the circumstances.

Tim carefully tucked the box into his coat pocket and moved forward. Because he hesitated, he found himself fourth in line, trailing two university students chatting animatedly, along with a tall gentleman rifling through his wallet at the bus’s card reader.

Then, something caught Tim’s eye. He shifted his head slightly, trying to appear inconspicuous. The figure beside him remained a blur, but their outline suggested a smaller stature.

Tim wrestled with the urge to turn his head further to investigate. The harder he tried to focus, the more his neck involuntarily twisted, until he finally met the gaze of an elderly woman.

“What did I just do?” he thought, scrutinizing her bright smile and the vibrant floral scarf wrapped around her head. The scent of mothballs mixed with garlic wafted from her. Her crinkled face, though speckled, radiated warmth.

Tim began to sway nervously, his skin flushing from orange to red. He tried to calm his breath, tucking his shirt tighter into his trousers, a difficult endeavor given his girth.

In his mind, he felt he had committed an unpardonable sin by simply being present in London. The elderly lady, sensing his anxiety, continued to gaze at him, a celestial kindness dancing in her eyes.

“What’s she staring at?” Tim muttered, shifting uncomfortably.

He fidgeted like a frightened rabbit among foxes, wishing for the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

The woman, undeterred, stepped closer and extended her hand. Tim instinctively took a small step back, rubbing his arms nervously. He longed to board the bus without engaging with anyone, craziness or not. Yet, there was something genuine about her demeanor—the relaxed posture, the twinkling eyes, the sincere smile.

Tim bit his fingernails and rubbed the back of his neck, his defenses wavering.

“Sweetheart, could you help me onto the bus?” she asked, her voice wrapping around him like a warm blanket. “My blood sugar is a bit low, but I’m not worried. I have some rainbow candies I’d love to share once I settle in.”

Unable to resist the warmth of her request, Tim’s left hand slipped into his pocket while his right gently clasped her frail hand. Together they ascended the bus, the woman cheerfully humming, “Taste the rainbow. Taste the rainbow.”

After helping her aboard, Tim swiped his card and surveyed the bus for an empty seat. He noticed two vacant spots further down the aisle and smirked, already feeling lighter.

To his surprise, another passenger had relinquished their seat for the elderly lady.

As he navigated down the aisle, politely excusing himself past a woman with a baby stroller, he caught a glimpse of the sleeping child nestled inside. Goosebumps crept up Tim’s arms as the world began to fade, pulling him into a portal of forgotten memories.

In a moment, he was back in the old stables, engulfed by the scent of hay and fresh manure. Flashes of nostalgia danced in his mind: vast meadows, apple pie, and mischievous childhood adventures that made his heart swell.

Suddenly, he was jolted back to reality by a gentle voice beside him.

“Are you okay?”

Tim smiled at the raven-haired young woman who had pulled him from his reverie. She adjusted in her seat, withdrawing earphones from her coat pocket and tuning into her device.

Finally reaching the empty seats, Tim grimaced at the sight.

“Oh my!” he exclaimed, pulling out a crumpled tissue from his pocket to dust off the crumbs littering the fabric. He then let his bag slip off his shoulder, settling into one of the seats, which was unfortunately also beset with dirt.

As the bus rolled through the city, Tim took in every corner and alley, observing the sights as if for the last time. He spotted pubs bustling with laughter, the aroma of grilled lamb wafting through the air, making his stomach growl.

Just then, a white van blared Irish folk music and pulled alongside the bus, blocking his view of a Turkish restaurant. Tim grunted in frustration, but then something caught his eye across the street.

There she was—the woman who had captivated him for over a year. Her dirty blonde hair framed her delicate face as she tapped away at her phone. His heart raced, a smile breaking across his face.

He didn’t know her name, but he had woven countless daydreams around her. Every evening, he concocted new fantasies about their potential lives together, imagining their first kiss, vacations, and even children.

If only she would look up.

Tim believed that if he stared long enough, he could pull her attention away from her phone and toward him.

But, as always, reality struck.

“Why would she like me? She’s beautiful, and I’m just… me. But maybe she’s different. Maybe she wouldn’t mind.”

He pinched the excess skin on his stomach between his fingers, contemplating the possibility of change.

“If only she knew how I felt,” he thought, “maybe someday I could have a chance.”

He lowered his head, studying the crumbs under his seat. “I’m just like them—an inconvenience, unwanted.”

Yet, despite his inner turmoil, Tim considered getting off the bus at the next stop to approach her.

“Yes,” he whispered to himself, “that’s what I should do.”

As his fingers inched toward the stop button, the knot in his stomach began to loosen.

With determination, he pressed the button, a smile blooming on his face. Everything would be alright.

Then, out of nowhere, a deafening scream shattered his thoughts.

Tim clamped his hands over his ears as time slowed, heat rising to his skin. Breathing rapidly, he unbuttoned his shirt to relieve the tightness in his chest.

He glanced around at the other passengers, who gawked at a woman four rows ahead, her long, unkempt hair and tattered jacket revealing her distress.

Tim's nose crinkled as he tried to ignore the foul smell filling the bus. He had never heard anyone cry like that before—like she had lost everything.

In that moment, his earlier anxieties returned with a vengeance.

He turned to see his crush fading from view, frustration boiling inside him. He clenched his fists and pounded them into his thighs, biting his lip.

Amidst the chaos, a baby carriage began to wail, adding to the cacophony.

Desperate for silence, Tim wished he could retreat to a corner of the bus. He reached into his pocket for a cigarette but withdrew his hand, exhaling softly instead.

The bus screeched to a halt, nearly toppling everyone over. The baby carriage remained steady, but passengers cursed loudly, scrambling to regain their composure.

A blue-framed door slid open, revealing a tall man with golden hair and an air of intrigue.

Raising his hand to quiet the chaos, he approached the crying woman, kneeling beside her.

“It’s okay,” he said in a thick accent. “I don’t know what’s wrong, but I’m here with you.”

Tim felt a weight lift from his shoulders as the woman’s sobs softened, her gaze shifting among the passengers.

“Don’t focus on anyone else,” the bus driver continued. “Just breathe. I’m right here with you.”

His calming words resonated with Tim, easing the tension within him.

As the woman’s breathing steadied, Tim closed his eyes, letting the tranquility wash over him.

Once the woman appeared calmer, the bus driver stood, smiled down at her, and returned to the front of the bus.

Most passengers had shifted from anger to concern, checking in on the woman and offering comfort.

A hiss sounded as the bus resumed its route, the familiar creaks signaling their departure.

Tim remained frozen, grappling with his thoughts as the moment slipped away.

It took him an hour to return home. As soon as he arrived, he hurried to the refrigerator, retrieving a small business card hidden beneath a penguin magnet.

His hands trembled as he read the elegant script inscribed on it.

Tim shifted his gaze to the landline a few feet away, feeling the weight of the decision before him.

If he didn’t act now, he might never have another chance.

Taking a deep breath, he brought the card to eye level, his hands shaking as he dialed the numbers one by one.

As the phone rang, Tim’s heart raced, fear tightening his stomach.

“I can’t do this,” he whispered, fighting back tears.

Just then, a warm, kind voice broke through the static.

“Thank you for calling Dr. Sara A. Tomlyn, Mental Health Counselor and Psychiatrist. How can I assist you today?”

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Chapter 2: The Unexpected Connection

In this next part of the story, Tim discovers more about himself and his interactions with others, revealing the delicate balance between anxiety and connection in our lives.

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