Dealing with Hate on Social Media and Beyond

Handling haters has always been a daunting task for me. I understand that I shouldn't "let them invade my thoughts," but the reality is far more complex. The comments people make can linger in your mind, prompting self-doubt. Whether we like it or not, this is an inherent aspect of human psychology. Ironically, those who label you a "snowflake" often exhibit the same sensitivity they criticize.

As a content creator and public figure for the past decade, I’ve encountered naysayers, haters, and bizarre direct messages. Over the years, I have developed a coping mechanism that serves as a form of "free therapy." Viewing it as such provides a more positive spin on what could otherwise feel like a burden. It’s a way to transform the act of hating into something more manageable.

How Does My System Work?

I refer to my approach as the "three-question rule":

1. Is it true?

   Sometimes, people distort facts or take things out of context. For example, if someone claims, "You’re leveraging your gender for fame, and your videos lack quality," I assess the truth of that statement. I don’t believe I’m using my gender as a tool for attention; I simply am who I am.

2. Do I care?

   While I might not care about unfounded criticism, I do want my message to resonate. If someone points out that my hair looks messy, I might agree, but it doesn't bother me. However, if someone suggests that my accent makes it hard to understand me, that’s a concern I take seriously.

3. Can I change it?

   There are aspects of ourselves we can modify and others we cannot. If someone comments that I have an unusual face, there’s little I can do about that. But if feedback suggests that I speak too quickly, I can adjust my pace and add subtitles to my videos.

Is This Approach Effective?

While I can’t guarantee that this will resolve all your issues with haters, I can attest to its effectiveness in helping me manage hurtful comments. Many strategies exist for addressing negativity, and I’m currently experimenting with the concept of banning toxic individuals from my platforms. Recently, I banned my first three users on Medium, a surprising yet liberating decision.

By choosing to exclude negative voices from your spaces, you can enhance your mental peace without jeopardizing your engagement metrics. This also frees up time for you to focus on creating meaningful content.

Thank you for taking the time to read this guide! If you're interested in further exploring content creation and psychological insights, consider checking out these articles:

• My worth is not in how much abuse I can take
• Monetizing your Squarespace website with AdSense
• I delete my Instagram followers—here's why
• Being an influencer is not the same as being a content creator