You Tend to Accept Only Your Own Beliefs

People often filter conversations through their own biases, only absorbing information that reinforces their existing views. Our beliefs are shaped by our experiences, leading to a narrow perspective.

Even though we inhabit the same world, our interpretations of it can differ significantly. Two individuals might navigate the same scenario yet form distinct beliefs. Accepting an alternate viewpoint can be challenging if it doesn’t align with our personal understanding.

Consider this: if someone claimed that traffic lights consist of purple, black, and blue, you would likely dismiss that assertion outright. This same rejection occurs in conversations, where individuals miss out on learning because they refuse to acknowledge the validity of others' perspectives.

Fortunately, there are strategies to overcome this biased approach and enrich every conversation.

Change Your Perspective

To foster meaningful conversations, one must engage with an open mind. Instead of concentrating solely on expressing your own ideas, strive to understand the other person's perspective. Often, they are aware of your viewpoint but may not agree with it.

This disagreement can lead to a debate-like atmosphere, where participants volley reasons back and forth, trying to prove their correctness. Valuing differing opinions and seeking to comprehend them can transform the conversation.

For example, during a team meeting, if a colleague presents a solution that you believe is flawed, take a moment to consider their reasoning before responding. By simply pausing to think, you can elevate your conversational abilities beyond those who react impulsively.

Be Inquisitive

After considering others' viewpoints, embrace curiosity. Instead of challenging their beliefs, ask them to elaborate on their reasoning. This approach not only enriches your understanding but also encourages openness from them.

Framing your inquiries as, "Just curious, why do you feel…?" signals genuine interest and invites deeper discussion. As they share their thoughts, you learn more, creating a mutually beneficial exchange.

Be Receptive to Diverse Opinions

When individuals share their perspectives, you gain access to knowledge that may have previously eluded you. Different motivations can shape how people view the same issue. For instance, during our interview discussion, one friend focused on the cost-benefit analysis, while another emphasized team compatibility. Their distinct motivations made consensus difficult.

Understanding that others might interpret situations differently broadens your perspective and enriches your conversations. Every interaction is an opportunity to discover alternative viewpoints and learn from them.

Recognize That Conversations Aren't Competitions

In a society that often evaluates us based on our abilities, it's easy to feel pressured to be "right." This pressure can hinder open communication, as we may fear appearing weak when conceding to another's viewpoint.

However, maturity involves realizing that conversations are not contests. When you prioritize winning over understanding, you miss out on valuable insights. Listening to a friend share their challenges and offering support, rather than prescribing solutions, demonstrates a higher level of emotional intelligence.

Similarly, in discussions with colleagues, prioritizing defensiveness over understanding can lead to stagnation and potential conflicts. Remember, there's no score to keep in conversations; the goal is to communicate and grow together.