The Significance of My Diagnosis

What made this revelation so pivotal? There are numerous reasons.

Self-Discovery and Acceptance

For the first time, I grasped my identity and recognized that I wasn’t "wrong." I am different—not deficient—and these differences are integral to who I am, even if they occasionally present challenges.

Everyone deserves the fundamental human right to be their authentic self, yet I realized I had spent my life imitating others because my true self felt unwelcome. In school, I aimed to be social and popular, despite preferring the company of books. At university, I pushed myself to be adventurous when solitude and study were what I truly desired. Throughout my career, I attempted to fit into the corporate mold, working hard in hopes it would yield positive outcomes, despite perceiving much around me as nonsensical.

Even at home, I strived to embody the ideal husband and father rather than embracing my genuine self. In essence, I spent 45 years masquerading as "normal," mimicking others without understanding their behavior.

When my facade inevitably crumbled, I concluded that I was merely difficult or a failure, as everyone around me suggested. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t become the person others expected.

I appeared disinterested in meetings because they bored me, and I resisted participating in corporate conversations that felt like watching a disaster unfold without intervening. I felt compelled to speak up.

I worked tirelessly to learn social cues, maintain eye contact, and fulfill my family’s desires, often leading to financial strain from fear of rejection.

Then everything changed. I could finally be myself and appreciate my true identity. My manager acknowledged that while I remained a challenge at work, we now understood why!

Now, I no longer spend sleepless nights questioning my worth. I know who I am, and I continue to learn more each day. The psychological impact of this realization is profound; without my diagnosis, I’m uncertain I would still be here. The years of pretending had severely affected my mental health, my marriage crumbled, and I felt overwhelmed at work. I was at a breaking point in every aspect of my life.

But now, I could start anew, and everything began to make sense.

Finding My Community

I may never be a highly social person; I find more joy in a small circle of friends and family or solitude. However, I draw immense strength from the knowledge that countless other autistic individuals share similar challenges.

In the weeks following my diagnosis, I began exploring the online autistic community. I discovered traits I thought were unique to me were shared by many others. Numerous autistic individuals generously shared their experiences and insights, creating a welcoming environment where we could connect over the shared understanding of not being alone.

To put it differently, for most of my life, when I posed questions beginning with “is it just me,” the answer was usually yes. Now, I had others who instantly related to my feelings and responses, which was a profound revelation.

Embracing My Unique Profile

For years, I dedicated time and effort to improving in areas I struggled with. I attended countless interpersonal skills workshops and tried to be more talkative, but my efforts were in vain.

Then I learned about the concept of "spiky profiles," which suggests that neurodivergent individuals often excel in some areas while struggling in others—rarely achieving mediocrity. My attempts to elevate my weaknesses to an average level were futile. I could no more become an extroverted socializer than I could sprint 100 meters in under 10 seconds.

Moreover, the energy I wasted chasing these unattainable goals could have been better invested in leveraging my strengths. This realization marked another significant change in my life. I began to succeed at work and found love with someone who accepted me for who I genuinely am, rather than who they hoped I would be.

Recognizing My Needs

For years, I voiced my discomfort with the noise in the office, only to be dismissed. Now, I understand that sensory hypersensitivity is common among neurodivergent individuals. Environments can be overwhelming for me, even if they are tolerable for others. I also learned that I am entitled to reasonable adjustments to accommodate these needs.

While it can still be challenging to secure these adjustments, I now recognize that my needs are valid and not imaginary. I find it easier to advocate for myself when faced with difficulties.

Life as an autistic individual in 2024 is undoubtedly challenging, but there is greater acknowledgment and appreciation of neurodiversity than ever before. I empathize deeply with those who struggle to perceive their differences positively.

Yet, I wouldn’t choose to be any other way. My identity as autistic, ADHD, and dyspraxic shapes who I am. Without these neurodivergent traits, I would be entirely different—not myself at all.

I am still on a journey of self-discovery, learning about my capabilities and how my unique neurodiversity influences my life. Central to this understanding is the knowledge that I am different—not broken. This realization is, without a doubt, a fundamental right everyone deserves.

Video Description: In this video, I share how my late autism diagnosis drastically altered my life perspective, offering insights into my journey towards self-acceptance and understanding.

Video Description: Explore the life-changing impact of my autism diagnosis and how it reshaped my interactions, relationships, and overall well-being.